still four.

Tomorrow this girl of mine turns five, but today she is still four, and four I can stomach. Five gives me tight-chest and that out of control feeling I get when I realize that she is going to grow up, that she is in fact, growing up right before my eyes every day. And I really do love that, the growing up, it's pretty dang cool be a part of that. But I'm also a mama, feeling that mama mixed bag of wanting my baby to stay a bay-buh forever, while also encouraging her to grow up into the kickass woman I know she will become some day. Not sure how that works, hence the tight chest and anxiety. But that's all for five, because FIVE is big, I've decided, while four is still little. And until tomorrow at 2:27 p.m. she's still four.

I'm hoping that a mental shift comes in the night, one that makes me realize that five is still a little bit little, even if it is also a little bit big. Sigh.

(Oh yes I know, we really need to clean that window. Eww.)

xo, PQ